A lot of men with Asperger’s (AS) – also called “high functioning autism” – have never been diagnosed and are regarded as being eccentric, a little odd or loners.
If you are in a relationship with a man on the autism spectrum, you have probably noticed many of the traits listed below.
The pet is a friend that does not place demands on the man and accepts him as he is. AS males may seem set in their ways and can appear to be selfish or insensitive.
They may speak without weighing how their words will affect others. AS men have been known to pass blame onto other people. AS men have been known to explode over relatively minor things (e.g., a burnt meal, a missing book, etc.). However, the man may feel that he is a “bad” person to behave in such a way, yet feels powerless to change. In a romantic relationship, the AS man may resist physical touch and public or private displays of affection. Job interviews often pose a problem since the AS man has impaired social skills and may not respond appropriately, or may misread the interviewer’s body language. Males with AS have normally spent decades learning how to get by in life. Males with AS often have a reputation for being cranky and difficult.
Men with AS often have some of the following traits, but they will vary in both number and level of severity from person to person: 1.
A special interest (e.g., coin collecting) is common in males with AS, and this may be something they have pursued for years.
They will be passionate about it and often have an extensive collection of related items as well as incredible knowledge on the subject. Although AS males are often highly intelligent, they may have held down a menial job or drifted from job to job for years.
This stems from their problems with social skills and communication. An AS man may have a pet (often a dog) that he becomes quite attached to.
Additional traits in some AS men include the following: In no way is the above information provided to discourage relationships with AS men. These men often do the best they can in relationships.) I have told him I am sure I want a divorce and his main concern, appropriately, is that he gets enough time with our 6 year old daughter.Inappropriately, he has suggested I sleep on the couch and let him come to the home for visits, have him continue to live here but in the basement room, and has had coffee to discuss the divorce with a divorced father with whom we are only distantly acquainted through our children in the same neighborhood.I have great Spectrum friends and we have fortnightly family get-togethers that are huge fun. We understand each other’s body language; eye-contact is not a problem nor is bluntness and honesty in conversation. I wish I had read it about 15 years ago, before I married my husband in 2000. I am a physician myself who has worked with many children with DD and have also been reading every book I could find on the subject since I realized Aspergers was likely the cause of my husband's odd behaviors.We make allowances for each other's sensory difficulties and can tell if the other is uncomfortable, and why.• Anonymous said… I feel that all my time is spent on how I can make things better for my husband to cope with life. For a long time I thought it was his upbringing --with selfish, distant parents, or me, that he wasn't in love with me, or I was too emotional and needy.