At Stitch, many of our members are either widowed or divorced, which brings new challenges to finding a partner later in life.
It’s an unchosen label that both connects them to others that have experienced the same trauma, but also makes them feel as if a world made for couples has thrown them aside.
Many WAY members do find love again – some WAY members are even now happily married again.
But it can be a long, slow process to find a new partner who understands and accepts what you have been through.
Lynn said, “There will be obstacles to overcome in any relationship and ours is no different. But, I am able to think of that as my past, as Chapter 1 in my book of life. She went on hundreds of dates, never able to commit to someone and never feeling better. She said, “It wasn’t until Stitch that I realized that what was missing from my life wasn’t a man. Having these women in my life has magically brought me back to my youth.
I have re-discovered what I loved most about being a girl and hanging out with my friends …
He said, “I’ll never date a widow again.” That’s just one story. It’s been a long time since I felt this way.”Another Stitch member, “Deborah,” who is both a divorcee and widow, shared with us that she has felt a gaping hole in her life for decades.
For another couple who met on Stitch (she a divorcee named “Lynn” and he a widower named “Paul”) the question of whether they would be compatible because of their different losses never came up. Maybe we cry for different reasons, but having a shoulder to cry on, someone I love, it doesn’t matter about how we got there, just that we found each other now.”Paul said, “Of course I miss my wife and yes she was my soul mate. She and I have built a new life together and every day I’m grateful to Stitch for leading me to her. Such a mix of different trauma and pain led her to feel that the only way to feel right again was to find another husband.
However, some bumps along the process could possibly be avoided by not “crossing the border” from widow to divorcee.
So the best advice is to proceed with caution and to make sure you’re ready before you take the plunge.
You can always dip your toe in the dating pool and take it out again if it doesn't feel right.
Other WAY members can provide an invaluable source of advice and a sounding board for people who feel ready to start venturing out into the dating world again.
There are discussion threads about new relationships on our Members’ Only website and on our closed Facebook page too – dealing with topics ranging from telling the in-laws about a new romance to when is the right time to take off your wedding ring.