A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.
When this happens frequently, it can lead to a reduction in their sex-life together, a growing sense of disconnection and an erosion of the marital bond.
Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.
How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.
Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.
Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.
To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).
There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.
When I spoke to him again about it, he did apologise and said he won’t do it again but he then came out with a load of stuff about how unhappy he was in the marriage, that we never spend time together (which is true), but I don’t think it is fair for him to blame me.
My husband is a great father and has always been very hands-on with the children who really love him and I don’t want to end up separated.
AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.
Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.
You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.