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Since most of us can't see ourselves objectively, it's a great idea to have a close friend take a good look at you and offer some advice. "I'm ready to have a good time." Most people in our age group are looking for someone with energy, optimism and warmth.If you are feeling unhappy, you won't be able to provide any of these.Sure, it can be dispiriting to have a series of coffee dates with guys or gals who just aren't right for you.But try to use these occasions simply to learn about someone else's world and life. Perfect." If you've got a long list of sterling qualities, characteristics and lifestyle criteria, you are going to have a tough time finding anyone who's good enough for you. And remember to stay positive: If you want to find a new partner and you're willing to work at it, you definitely will!That's the individual who's still carrying the unpleasant events and feelings of their past relationships into the present.Bitterness in any form — even if justified — will send most new people running as fast as they can in the opposite direction. "I don't want to divulge everything about myself right away." People who reveal everything on a first, second or third date risk overburdening the fledgling relationship with too much information.

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But just becomes it's relatively easy to find a potential partner doesn't mean you should start dating before you think about your goals and desires.

Truly, the most winning way to get to know people is to get them to talk about themselves — and really listen closely.

Ask questions; help them be comfortable with you, and then reciprocate.

Someone who has a chronic or life-threatening illness, for example, might feel compelled to talk about it, even during a first meeting.

But this goes against the first rules of dating: Keep it light, and let your date see your most attractive characteristics first.

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