Waiting to trip up our relationship, if not destroy our marriages.It’s kind of like trying to hold a beach ball under water. But my divorce didn’t have anything to do with what was going on then–it had everything to do with all the stuff that had been building up for years.When the kids are young, there’s just no time to talk about everything that’s going on. It’s still there, and if you don’t address it, it eventually destroys your marriage.”“I think it’s important that you’re doing this now.
Here’s what he had to say: “If there’s one tip I’d share, it’s that you have to make time for your adult relationship, too. We thought there would be plenty of time for us when the kids were older, but by the time they got older, it was too late.” So far, I’ve stayed away from the attachment parenting debate as much as possible, but I can’t get his words (or his sad face) out of my mind.
That way, when the next crisis hits, you can look at it as an opportunity to deepen your relationship, rather than going into that awful “Holy Shit, this is it–we’re finally getting divorced! When we’re ready, really ready–pushed by bad news, a death in the family, whatever it is that tips you over that edge–one day, we finally decide to just do it. So how about we help each other out here by building up an arsenal of tips to help us get through these yucky times?
This is what happened to us this past week, when we got the yucky news about our friend, which caused us to take a step back and reevaluate where we were and where we were going. 2.4.15 UPDATE: I love to hear from my readers, and I read every single email and comment you send me.
I work with a lot of couples and a lot of women who come to see me 10, 15 years after the fact, when they realize that these issues are still there, and they’re finally ready to address them.” Interesting, huh?
We think we can sweep our grudges and resentments under the rug–at least for a little while–but then we get busy, or we decide to just leave this stuff for another day, and then somewhere along the way, we forget that they’re still there waiting for us.