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All that's needed here is to learn how to create the right conditions, what is necessary for a man to feel safe enough with you to talk.

Many couples keep relationships alive and exciting by fighting.

When they see their partner upset, it reassures them that they care. Dr Brenda Shoshanna, psychologist, workshop leader, is the award-winning author of many books.

Others have seen their parents fighting and this is the only role model they have. Her most recent book "Jewish Dharma (Guide to the Practice of Judaism and Zen)," offers new ways of healing both relationships and all aspects of our lives.

Everyday I worry that he'll find out who I really am and leave." This woman not only expected rejection, she actually did little things to bring it about.

Soon she began to sabotage the relationship, finding fault with him at every turn.

You just want to turn them into someone to fill your needs.The bottom line is these may not feel they deserve a relationship, they feel they can't hold onto a partner because they haven't accepted themselves."If he/she really loved me, they'd know what I needed and give it to me." Many believe that if their partners really loved them, they would read their minds.Some are addicted to the "high" they get out of fighting. The reason I'm such a strong advocate for online dating is because I know it's the easiest place to meet single men over 50.

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