My ex would literally check my body for signs that I'd had breast implants. He'd explain it by saying, "I've been lied to before." I told him it wasn’t cool, but I didn't make a firm boundary.
If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: Trust your gut. Every time we let someone infringe on our boundaries, we're inviting them to do it again.
They may start commenting on your clothing or asking you to change.
A narcissist may make vaguely threatening comments like, "You might not want to make me mad." They might tell you your friends don't want what's best for you or your family is trying to hold you back because they want to be the only person you trust.
If you notice that everything seems to be conspiring against someone, and they're always the first to tell you about it, something is probably rotten in Mudville.
You'll notice that if you start to ask a narcissist questions about their topics of interest or expertise, they'll either recite a textbook answer or try to turn the conversation around and make it about what you are or aren't doing and what that says about you as a person.
Start each day with this intention: "In everything I do, I take care of myself. Celebrating your growth will make you feel more capable. Maybe they're charming and funny, but the smoothness feels a bit too polished.
I didn't know then what I know now—that narcissists will keep coming back in different shapes and forms until we learn what we need to learn from them.My ex often liked to flaunt his expertise in sacred geometry, so I once played a TEDtalk that combined molecular shapes (something I'm interested in) and geometry.He stopped the video a few minutes in, told me he’d figured this out a long time ago, and that I was stupid if I needed to watch it. In hindsight, I realized that he was trying to hide his own ignorance.I wanted to believe that everyone was inherently good.I couldn't accept the idea that some people don't work that way—that they hurt you not because you've done anything to deserve it but because they themselves have been hurt.