For example, if we had chatted about how many good movies are playing right now, I would say, “I’m going to see La La Land tonight; if you’re free, you should come! At first, I put too much pressure on myself when I began new activities with the intention of finding a good friend. (It’s like that saying about dates: If you shave your legs, you’re less likely to get lucky.) When I think back to when I met my BFFs, I realized I wasn’t initially aware of how much those relationships would later mean to me.
But over time, as you share experiences and lean on each other, the bond strengthens.
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We pleaded for each other to hang out five minutes longer and finished each other’s sentences before they even started. Even though I’m an introvert, all of my newfound alone time made me feel like I was “The Only Living (Girl) in New York.” I longed for the company of my old roommates, and the distance of my other hometown friends began to hit me. After some trial and error, here’s what I found worked best: Just say something.
(You know that exaggerated breath right before someone starts talking? ‘‘ I would hear myself think during social gatherings.
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I have to remind myself there isn’t a rush or goal line to friendships. Over the holidays, I spent a couple weeks in Missouri; and afterward, like always, it was hard to leave my old friends.
Yet for the first time since my move, I was also eager to return to new pals. Stella’s beauty uniform, and Mindy Kaling’s friendship advice.
(I almost died.) But, I realized, in moderation, there is magic to that mindset.
It’s impossible to meet new people if you don’t try new things.