Within my own family, I had two gay uncles who died of AIDS-related illnesses before I was 10.
They were estranged from our family, partly because of their health and their sexual orientation.
And in doing that, are we only reinforcing the politics of desire that deem Black people less attractive?
When I read a recent essay by Michael Arceneaux, his words hit me hard.
I tried to deny it, but when I thought about my dating history, I realized that my friends were right.
While I may flirt or develop friendships with other Black gay men, I’ve never seriously pursued a relationship with one.
When I’m on Tinder, the men I’m more likely to swipe right are usually athletic white men between 21 and 30.
And when I scroll through Grindr’s grid of faceless torsos, I find myself only messaging guys with complexions lighter than a paper bag.
This means that all of our cam girls are real people, like you, who have a passion for sex and love getting naked for strangers.I never had the chance to speak to either one while they were alive, but I often wonder what advice or mentorship they could have provided me as a young Black gay male coming of age in such a sheltered environment.When I finally came out in college, I was at a predominantly white school.Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s "into black guys." I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: And the more I think about it, the more complicated the answer seems. The only gay people I saw in the media were white, and the few Black queer celebrities that I knew of, like Wanda Sykes and Michael Sam, were in interracial relationships.My childhood in the Black church led me to believe that Black people were inherently homophobic — a myth — and that the only Black men who were gay were on the down low or infected with HIV — also a myth.