When this happens, the angry part blocks any other feelings, like sadness, grief, guilt, and remorse that might cause some reflection and actually help your cause.With your mate staring angrily at you, what opportunity do they get to look in the mirror, reflect, and take some responsibility for your marital breakdown? Here is your action plan based on The Last Resort Technique: 1. Immediately cease anything that your spouse might look at as pursuing behavior.
However, the flip side to our humanity and animal instinct is, the party being chased or even hunted down will feel the need to escape when you coerce or pressure in response to feeling trapped.
Now, if your relationship has had the trauma of a full blown sexual affair or emotional infidelity, you are competing with not only the fantasy of an ideal life without problems but a person that is in the opposite space of distressed.
Hard to hear, but reality hurts and I say this to the part of you who knows how to pick yourself up after a fall and dust yourself off. Of course, it may seem like I am suggesting an impossibility – get happy, be strong, get back into life, and develop your confidence. Or the hurt, scared or angry part getting all the air time?
They will dig their heels in insisting that the marriage is over, and this may prompt another wave of fear and you to chase even more. In fact, if you keep pushing your husband or wife, you will be driving them right out the door. But this fearful, scared, vulnerable part of you is making the wrong decisions and making you appear completely desperate and unwelcoming.
Of course, you need to honor the fragile part of you that is in pain and wants to cling on.