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Take a former student of mine, Naoko, who worked as a programmer. “I just wore the same clothes, but on Sunday I’d go home for half a day, to shower. Sometimes I’ll ask my adult students how often they see their spouses, or ask the kids when they see their fathers.She worked—wrap your head around this—twenty hours a day. The answer is roughly on par with how often I’ve seen the Easter Bunny.

There’s the sense of rejection, loss, and even abandonment that can be activated by an affair.

All Japanese people innately recognize that: If you’re a man with just a little bit of money, you can have sex with as many attractive women as you want. It’s something that’s available for purchase, like movie tickets or a head of cabbage or something. “I’m pretty sure you just answered a different question,” I said. I’ll try to put this in the best light possible, but Japanese social relations . She’s about sixty and doesn’t say stupid things like, “Wow, you can use chopsticks,” so I like her.

Sex isn’t an expression of love between two people; it’s something that can be bought or sold when necessary. Then I walked the concrete corridor to the station and silently waited in line for the train.

You can be that crazy dude who lives under a bridge and rides a bicycle with garbage bags full of tin cans hanging off the back, but as long as you’re “Japanese,” you’re good to go. Afterwards, I go to a bar, and every week, sure as hell, someone will approach me and say, “Wow, let’s speak English together! People are massively impacted by their environment and the people around them. The place was packed full of about thirty guys and gals in dark suits all sitting alone in silence, eating and reading manga or staring at their smartphones with glazed eyes.

But Japanese racism is a whole other subject.) Now, I’m in no way saying that the majority of men and women participate in this, but the fact that the institution exists changes the social dynamic. ” Now, I may even want to, but really, who gives away what they can sell? So prostitution has turned sex in Japan into a commodity. I stayed for about an hour and a half, ate some grilled mackerel and rice and miso soup, drank an Asahi beer, and watched TV. The only person I talked with was the waitress, which is pretty typical.

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